June 29th, 2004



Some of you may remember a little gem of a film called "Super Mario Brothers: The Movie." If you do, I'm terribly sorry.

Yeah, I saw that when it came out. Out of the four of us who went to see it -- including an adult who should have known better -- I was the only one who came out of it going, "What in God's name was that? It was made by insane people, and not the good kind of insane!" I've managed to half-forget about this bizarre little romp's existence for the past eleven years. But X-Entertainment's Matt has reawakened these memories of the last word in weird.

He finds it almost as unfathomable as I did (suggesting that it may have been "conceived by a talking giraffe under the influence of six bourbons, tryptophan, LSD and enough "Fun Dip" candy to fill a sandbox." He's probably not wrong.), to the point where he couldn't even wrap his head around it enough to mention any of the subplots in any detail. He did, however, sape a line for "Lena," another major character I forgot to mention. Oops."

For some ungodly reason, I was actually trying to reach far back enough into my subconscious to fill in the blanks he was leaving, and I found myself thinking, "Lena...hmm. Yeah, I think I remember. The villain's wife. A middle-aged, kind of snotty-looking woman who sort of...looked...like...

Holy mother of crap, Aunt Petunia was in the Super Mario Brothers movie!"

I think I need to go lie down now.

(no subject)

True test of how funny a story really is: You try to repeat it to someone and can't actually finish the sentences because you're laughing too hard to breathe.

True test of how in tune you are with someone: you tell them that story in incoherent sentence fragments, and they get it. And laugh.